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Hello and welcome to HIT-laren website. A long time ago the ideas of an invasion came about, but the the dam internet wouldn't allow it. But with the right flippin software I have everything up and running, so beware.

Few things about me, well I'm short....as like everyone knows although I am growing. I'm clever when I want to be. Never at all get jokes, usually I am the joke anyway. 

But one thing I'm proud about is, I'm British. We are all proud to be British, and in our heritage we accept all hatred and sacrifice to one's ideas to become all mighty and powerful. You cannot beat British tea (In Eastenders, "two teas dear"), we probably have the "best bear in the world" (Have a pint of Guinness in the morning at thee Admiral Rodney, Simon Wong becoming tipsy, Jeremy fainting seeing a topless drunk, Rachel flirting with any fatty in the pub, Tom using his maths to entice people, Matt loving himself when drunk, James with Turrets, Fisher getting knocked out by everyone, Warren drunk enough to say "I'm Gay, I love Van Niserhorse", but you cannot beat Daniel, good old ASDA beer, man that tastes like the best cheap beer you can find in Britain, and something which beats the Brazilians hands down.

Well that's life for you, Beer, watching the game (and not letting Budweiser ruin football "Portsmouth Pirates"), eating good old fatty British food (Chips Chips and more Chips. Good old fried breakfast in the morning with a dollop of HP Brown Sauce), and most of all your family owning a corner shop (as Apu would say "Thank you, come again" and selling the weirdest things, like strawberry and Lime chutney, or microwavable curry's in only 20 seconds.)  

Be Proud of it, the British Flag, although I'm not that fond of the Scottish with the kilts and all that...

HITlaren Associates ©

Full Name: Paren Maniar (Hopefully becoming Paren Gandhi)

Nicknames: HITlaren (currently), Pazuno, Paz, Par, Parrono, Memski (odd), Elmo (do I really look like the sesame character), Chicken (my brother calls me that), and some random Indian names my mum calls me.

Family Members: Rimal (Brother), Varsha (My Mum).

Last B-Day I Had: 27 Jan 06 when I was 17.

What I Look Like: Brown eyes, usually short black hair, and shaven when I'm bothered to

Favourite Stuff/Colour: Like blue, but getting fond of black lately. I love music mostly rock/metal like SOAD, Disturbed, Avenged Sevenfold and some dance/techno stuff like Prodigy and Faithless. Love Tennis obviously, and my mates which will probably be answered lower down this section of my site.

Food and Drink: Well I love loads of food, and I've been on the longest diet of meat/fish, 17 years!!! I should defiantly be in the Guinness Book Of Records. I think you gathered that I love thinks which are vegetarian, mostly healthy Indian food, cooked the proper way not the cheap old curries you find down at your local take-away. I like pasta because it keeps me going, couscous because it so light and nice, pizza of which usually Dominoes but I have taken a fetish in Papa Johns because they look nice and taste much better. I love my chocolate, especially galaxy something you can treat yourself to. But hands down you can't beat a bunch of Satsuma's or Clementine's as they are school fuel and taste good when you take 10 minutes to open them. 

For drink I like coke and water but not fond of beer as I puked up last time, but oh well Shit Happens and I might try lager.

College: Well I have taken maths, further maths, physics and economics and all of them are not for the light hearted because they are killers. Also lately I have started in AEA Critical Thinking which surprisingly I'm good at

Best Days: Well I would consider Wednesday as my best day because I only have double economics and I go home at 12.00. Mondays is also good because its just a nice day (I'm sure all of you wouldn't think so). Worst is Thursday because it just feels dull and boring and just a heavy day, even though I have a full Friday.

Other Stuff Needed: I have not pets before you ask, I have loads around my block and they are annoying. Love sport, big fan of Tennis, Football (Go Forest 7-1, we are going up to the Premiership one day) and cricket (I support England only until they play India because they are crap then).

Dream Home/Holiday: Not sure actually, probably anywhere sunny and no chavs/grebs around. Also somewhere clean, probably Italy/Spain and even in the suburbs of America where no obese blokes live. Canada would be nice as well because people there are friendly. Switzerland/Austria would be a dream place to visit and most hated it Germany as they don't even know what a normal sized non beverage drinker vegetarian teen is.

Anything different about you: Probably different from most people. I'm usually the joke in most things, and the sense of shutting up at the right time does not come to me. Quite is not for me, and neither is a big scrappy gay fight. I'm weirdly light only about 8 stone, and fast as well which makes me such a good tennis play (not to rub it in). Can eat loads of food without gaining any weight, I can eat a whole large pizza without trouble. And for no reason, I can sew, just give me a needle and I will sew things together (I shouldn't of said anything, well here is your chance to make me the joke again).

Last Words: Don't get addicted to blue dragon (some random game Simon "found" and spread). I Love my girlfriend loads, my lovely Hannah, and how she rules me in cleverness. Keep it real, Brep your neighbours and remember SHIT HAPPENS!!